Mrs. Haruko Kanari
My motto is, “Even though I cannot do it, I will try my best. Even though I cannot do it perfectly, I will still take up the challenge.”
At a 120-day workshop in the early 1980s in New York, Mrs. Kanari shared with members about how she applies Father’s words in her daily life. An early member in Japan, she was one of three Japanese ”mamas” with a prayer mission. Later she lived in New York, cooking for True Parents when they stayed at the World Mission Center (now the New Yorker Hotel).
Part 1
One of Father’s sayings that most impressed me when I joined the Unification Church was this, “We must really understand and acquire the word of God; not only that, we must become the embodiment of God’s Word and pursue the realm of His Word and their embodiment every day.”
At that time I felt at a loss, in a sense, because Father’s teachings are so universal, so vast. I would write down the things he said that most impressed me and tried so hard to embody each of them. But the task seemed too great. So I determined to begin by striving to embody at least one of Father’s sayings.
No time to be cozy
Father once talked about Gideon—his story is found in the book of Judges, in the Old Testament—and his search for brave warriors. Gideon asked those who came to him as volunteers to drink water from a stream, and he chose those who scooped up water with their hands, without setting down their weapons. To always wear a weapon means to actualize Father’s words.
Based on this analogy, Father said that we have to keep alert—even to the point of not changing into nightclothes to sleep—ready to move at an instant’s notice. I was very impressed by this. In those days it was surprising to hear someone say that we should go to sleep without using a nightgown, but I understood Father to mean that we should not take things easy and be cozy, even at home, but always be ready to challenge and meet whatever circumstances might come our way—even in the middle of the night. I began to live this way, going to bed with my clothes on and hair fixed, ready to jump up at a moment’s notice.
In Japan I worked closely with Mr. Kuboki, president of the Japanese Unification Church, as his secretary. In those days, Mr. Kuboki used to go to holy ground to pray late every night and return around 2:00 or 3:00 am. I had to wait up until he came back, so I would lie down with my clothes on. Father’s words were very helpful to me then, when I had to remain attentive and prayerful through the early hours of the morning. The other members had gone to bed, but since the headquarters gate was left unlocked for Mr. Kuboki ‘s return, anybody could have entered. Various strange people did come in at times, and I would become scared. But because I was prepared for any circumstance, I could jump up and confront anyone.
Another saying of Father’s that impressed me was this: “You should dedicate your whole life, for one second or one moment.” Therefore, I really started to challenge myself on this point and try to dedicate even one second to thinking about God’s heart and relating to others with that heart.
Warning of accidents
I heard that Father always wakes up and prays at 4:00 am, without fail. Also, I know that his whole day is a day of prayer. I was very challenged by that standard. It is so hard for fallen people to lead a life of intense prayer all day long; the tendency to become self-centered is so strong. Such a life requires much discipline.
I trained myself as much as I could to lead such a life of prayer. That doesn’t mean always staying in the prayer room, but making life itself a prayer. So whether I am in the kitchen or bathroom, every second of the time I try to stay in the realm of prayer. Originally, I was not such a spiritual person, but through such moments of prayer, God has told me many things: warning me of a dangerous situation Mr. Kuboki was facing, a critical moment for some member, a potential accident, etc. Even though I did not pray for this knowledge, God would reveal such situations to me and I would be drawn to pray about them. Upon returning to the center, the person involved would tell how some kind of accident could have happened, but somehow he or she managed to avoid it. Such incidents have taken place more often than I can tell.
To become the embodiment of God’s Word seemed an enormous challenge; it means polishing my personality according to the heavenly standard and deepening God’s heart within myself. A big part of the battle is to become selfless—to make myself into nothing. This is one of the principles of any religion: to make yourself nothing; to become selfless and not be preoccupied about yourself; always to live for others; continually to strive to become the embodiment of God; and always to relate to other people and things from such a perspective.
Unfortunately, it is easy for fallen people to deal with other people and things in the wrong way. Father often said that we need to become bigger receptacles for God and other people and be able to listen to the creation around us.
I look for your good points
Therefore, every day, I try to take a humble Cain position. When members who joined yesterday or even today talk about God’s Word and their precious experiences with Heavenly Father, we should take Cain’s position and listen to everything. I believe that Abel’s position is held by the person who has gained some sort of victory and can report these experiences to God; but when young members talk about God, I try to open my heart and listen—putting myself in the Cain position.
As fallen people, it is easy to look at things with a fallen mind and forget the good aspects. I strive to discover and recognize the good points in each of our brothers and sisters. I try to think that since each person has many good points that I don’t have, I have to learn from them.
Internal truths should always be manifested in an external form. So it is not enough just to understand and acknowledge that I have to learn from others, but I have to manifest this in practice. In the process, I learn a lot about Heavenly Father’s heart. If Adam and Eve hadn’t fallen, Heavenly Father’s heart would have been filled with only joy and happiness. But their fall filled His heart with so much sorrow and suffering. So Heavenly Father’s heart leaps with joy when someone fulfills even a small portion of his or her responsibility. Therefore, I try to acquire all aspects of Heavenly Father’s heart.
To be continued…