EAST GARDEN, August 1984
Part 2 (Click here to read Part 1)
This interview with Hyo-jin nim took place when he was in his early twenties. It was first published in Today’s World magazine, and has been edited slightly for length for inclusion in this series of testimonies by early members. Hyo-jin nim’s testimony is both informative of his outlook on the subjects he addresses and refreshing as a personal perspective on how his life was unfolding.
What is unity? How does unity come about? How are you able to want to die for someone or something you believe in?
You have to raise yourself to the level of wanting to die for someone or else you will suffer all the time…. I cannot relate to God so easily. But I love my brother very much, and that love gives me strength. When I have a hard time controlling myself, I say to myself, “Hey, stop it, you love your brother.” I tell myself, “You love your brother. Stop it. Tum. Walk away. You love your father. Walk away.” [Hyo Jin Nim was very moved and had tears in his eyes.] That’s the way I feel. And I want to tell you, my brothers and sisters, that we really have to unite.
Finding Good in Others
What is unity? If you are a state leader or whatever, if you have people following you, you have to love them like your sons and daughters. Don’t just try to get work done. There’s more to it than that. You really have to understand, love and care for the members. How can you do that? Not by rejecting or criticizing the ways they are different from you or don’t meet your expectations, but by trying to find something attractive in them, something of goodness.
In this world of hate, you see hate all over. But it takes a greater person to find the beauty, to find the greatness in oneself and in others. Anybody can judge a person. But trying to find beauty in oneself or in someone else, even when you are at your lowest, that takes a real heart. That’s what you have to do. When you are taking charge of a church mission, you have to have that kind of attitude, that depth of feeling, or else it would be just like anything else out there in the world. There wouldn’t be any difference. That’s what Father is teaching. I feel this is the right way because I used to always find something wrong in people.
I know many church members suffer, but when you suffer for other people, when you give out all your energy for others, it’s never wrong. You might not gain from it at this moment, but you are carving a path, a big room for generations to come, for them to see, for them to follow, for them to learn from that experience of suffering. By doing that, you yourself become a hero in a way, a hero for generations to come.
Now, Jet’s say some young kids who believe in something try to fight for it, but they don’t have the right concept. The Guardian Angels[1] have a good idea. But first they have to face the fundamental cause of crime. How can we overcome it? How can we fight it? How can we really make the world better?
Let’s say you have arthritis in your hand. You can find fast relief through painkillers, but it’ll always come back….If you want to fix it for good, you have to find the fundamental cause of the pain. You have to fix it or else you will always have to rely on painkillers. And you cannot go on like that forever.
You have to work on the fundamental causes of problems. All those politicians, they come on with a promise of fast relief. They do not see into the future. They cannot see 10, 20 years from now. That’s what people are doing. That is wrong. That’s why Father is speaking strongly at this time.
Believing in a Greater Being
I realized all this when I was very young. At school, they explain all facts through the theory of evolution. I am God’s man. I believe in God. God is my man. I don’t want to worship a monkey, I don’t want to even hear that an amoeba or a monkey was my ancestor. Do I have to go to the zoo, to a monkey’s cage, to worship my ancestors?
At this moment, that is the most reasonable theory. That’s why people believe it. But if I want to believe in theories, I’d rather believe in a being greater than myself, a greater being, as my Father does.
Sure, that was a million years ago. Before Adam and Eve, there could have been human beings. But God said to Adam: Okay, you are My child. From that moment on, they were blessed. I like to think like that. I will find out about all of those mysteries when I die. There are many mysteries that I ask myself about all the time. When I die, I’ll find out. I’d rather die believing in God than not believing in Him. Maybe I am very unbalanced, but I like to believe that my Father, is up there. Scientists discover facts about life and then develop their own theories to explain them. But they just observe things that already exist, they didn’t create them. But where did all this come from; how and why?
Going through Difficulties to Prepare for the Future
I am Father’s son. I have my position to uphold. I have to have credentials. For the sake of the people out in the world, I have to be prepared in every way, because people out there judge people by their title. I hate that, but I have to do it because I have to embrace those kinds of people, too. That’s why, right now, blessed children have to study. I really dislike school. Many teachers’ minds are so narrow, so blocked. I go because Father wants me to.
I used to love sports. I used to go to the gym and do martial arts. I was an instructor. I used to exercise. I used to box for hours. You know, box and kick and kick and throw and jump up and down, for hours. I used to love it! I used to love to run around. I was always out trying to train myself. I was too much of an outgoing person. But now I have to sit down in one place. That’s what I am doing right now. This, for me, is suffering. I’d rather go out there and do something, you know. I believe in God and I want to do something about it.
I have a mission to follow, I have a mission to carry on. I say to myself, “Okay, this is the preparation stage! I’m preparing myself for my mission.” I always think to myself, “This is war! My pencil is my weapon! My enemy is over-anxiousness. I have to overcome it.” I can overcome the physical pain, but I have to overcome the mental pain. Right now, I put that as a task for myself. I have to have a goal. You can always find yourself a goal, if you really look hard enough.
People in our church who were chosen by Father to study for a Ph.D. shouldn’t feel special because of it. They should feel more burdened. Because they have potential, that means they have to use their potential. That means more hardship. In a way I feel sorry for them. They shouldn’t brag about it. They are the ones who have to suffer more.
I think many people assume that Father’s children are in a very glorious place. But it is the place of the most suffering, because you have to bear all the suffering of the people. I have to lead all the members from now on. You know about being a leader, how hard it is to persuade, to make other people follow. You cannot do that by force. You have to constantly think all the time. The mental burden is greater than any burden.
Appreciating the Creation
I try not to miss even the little things. I look at an ant and wonder why he runs all the time. How can he move like that all the time? For what reason does he do that? What does he get out of it? And how much joy does he have? I sit there and I want to be like a rock. People look at a cliff and think it’s just a cliff. But it has been standing there for thousands of years, always patient. That’s the pride of the cliff. A tree gives its shade to a hot, sweaty person, giving him relief. It changes its colors four times a year, wearing different clothes. The cliffs don’t change, not so much. They change only after thousands of years, but a tree can pride itself on being able to change often. It can make a place for mushrooms and the creatures that cannot grow out in the sunlight. There’s lots of beauty there, right? You can always find beauty in yourself like that. It’s how you see it.
Continued next week….
[1] The Guardian Angels is a non-profit international volunteer organization with the goal of unarmed crime prevention (Wikipedia).