Open HoonDokHae Discussion: Where is Your Self-Esteem?
By FFWPU Romania: Beloved brothers and sisters, we are all sending out this message for humankind: life is a beautiful gift, a unique experience that should be joyful, loving and creative. On the 29th of January 2016, we gathered in our small piece of Heaven in downtown Bucharest for a discussion about the human value. We are in the middle of our JeongSeong condition for JeonDo and we can feel that even the smallest condition is important in order to prepare the spiritual ground for people’s later understanding of the Divine Principle message.
We started with True Fathers words on the topic: “What is the most precious thing in the world? It is not gold or jewelry, honor or power. It is my own self. When asked how to be sure of the value of the self, however, people are unable to answer. People want to establish the most respectable image for themselves before the public even when they do not deserve it.” There is a constant search for purpose and meaning in people’s lives, we are in the process of understanding and connecting to the source of our existence that can clarify our direction and goals. We came together, CARP members, blessed families, STF and UPA volunteers in order to guide our new guests and offer a different energy and message that can really make a difference. After we separated in 4 different teams we started to share about how we see ourselves and what is the importance of a healthy self-image.
Next, we underlined that the self-image or “how we see ourselves” refers to the way we perceive our physical, emotional, cognitive, social and spiritual characteristics. How we perceive ourselves depends on our “self-respect” (self-appreciation, self- acceptance). If we truly accept and appreciate ourselves for what we do well, if we embrace our weakness without permanently criticizing ourselves, we can live emotionally comfortable (and thus increase our tolerance towards others too).
The participants were excited about the various questions that sprung from our curious minds: Why is the self-image so important? Why does it count what other people believe? Where the self- image comes from? What can we do?
The representative of the first team explained that self-esteem is something very real that we can actually build. It is not some perception or something relative that passes, but something that describes the reality of life; as we are able to describe it as the relationship between how much we have accomplished in life versus how much do we want or planned for in our life. Why? Because if we feel like we haven’t done much in life, we might feel unhappy with who we are at the moment. The person that shared also explained his own heart related to the topic, that the self-image is also a choice and that at some point he chose to stop feeling miserable about himself and start living.
The person elected by the second team added that our self-esteem is built by our parents in our childhood. When they say: “don’t worry! You can do it! Even if you failed now you will be successful next time, just don’t give up! Just try it once more!” because of this kind of moral support and trust that we receive, in the end, we can manage to achieve our objectives and feel confident with our result. The second lesson from this statement is: when you will become parents you need to learn how to interact positively with your children in order to build them and make them stronger and stronger.
The last little speaker had a lot of energy, she stated that we shouldn’t care about what other people say, that their opinion is not who we are. We are usually influenced by the others’ opinions, even by the way people look at us or behave around us. But the negative things we hear cannot be the real standard as negativity is firstly the limitation in the person that judges and maybe secondly in the one being judged.
We could feel that the participants tried to be open and sincere with one another. When we are transparent, this is also a sign of self-acceptance, of an objective opinion of our situation that we are looking to improve and develop.
Additionally, we must be aware that there is a big difference between self- esteem and self-image. The reason people have all this plastic surgery is because they have actually forgotten themselves and are identifying themselves with their self-image. The real Self within you is beneath no one. It’s immune to criticism and it’s fearless. Do not confuse your image with your Self—your self-image is what other people think of you, and your Self (esteem) is what you think of you.”
The age of adolescence is very fragile and sensitive. We feel that as much as our events can talk about a different standard and approach on life’s problems and circumstances, we can guide our guests towards real solutions and a proper attitude. Together with our Heavenly Father we are sure that our efforts will have a good outcome and contribution at some point in their lives.
“To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven. Don’t wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now.” – Alan Cohen
Thank you so much Heavenly Parents and True Parents.